Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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