I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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