Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
