My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
