omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
