yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
