I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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