i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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