i jhust puked up my retainher.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
