and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
