did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
