Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
