I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
