I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
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He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
where are my eyebrows?
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