just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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