I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
