I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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