Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
