how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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