I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
