i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
