woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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