She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
