just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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