I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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