u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
