Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
