i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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