If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
