I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
