where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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