I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
