Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize