I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
