I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
