You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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