they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
