What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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