sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
