How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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