Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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