He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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