Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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