My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.