Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
