I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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