Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
