Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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