Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize