May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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