I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
