So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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