Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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