is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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