me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
