Four minutes until I can fart!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
