guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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