Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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