We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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