nut hugger
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
