YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
