Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
